I've heard it since I started high school, and my English started to improve. And I wish I could say that I'm over it, but it obviously still bugs me since I'm writing a blog about it -people saying that I act too white.
Dear friends:
I am not a color.
I've said this before, and I thought it was through, just because I do not live up to the Mexican stereotypes doesn't make me any less Mexican. So what if I don't like corridos, duranguense, banda, or go to bailes? So what if my boyfriend is white, or that any of the guys I've dated have been white? So what if I speak Spanish only when it's necessary? So what if my taste and behaviour is out of the NORMAL? Who are you to try and strip me bare from what makes who I am? I don't go around doing the same to you, do I?
Please don't tell me I want to be white because of the lifestyle I live.There is nothing wrong with being white, but there is nothing wrong with being who I am either.
It only upsets me because it gets old.
Here's the full story though:
There is nothing you can say to make me feel less Mexican. I may not like the type of music you are listening now, but remind me of this again in a few years, and then we'll talk; mainstream music changes all the time. Early 2000's was all about regueton and Daddy Yanky, and all those peeps; whatever happened to that? In my early teens I had 90's pop en espanol, and I thought it was the best era of all times. And we also had the cumbia and bachata. But the 80's had some amazing rock era, and I like it too even though I wasn't old enough to even remember. Do you get what I'm trying to say?
I still love my pozole and tostadas. I love the taco truck! I love the tacos my mom makes. I love the mole my family makes -I can only digest the mole that my family makes; if anyone else makes it, it makes me sick. I love pipian. And the arroz that my mom makes. And her picaditas. Does this makes me more Mexican? If it does, then my boyfriend (a full blooded white boy) is also a Mexican because he loves the same. Am I making my point clear?
I'm not a paisa. I don't wear hat and boots and big buckled belts. I don't have a mustache. I don't own any gold rings or necklaces.I can't pull off that look. I hate facial hair. I hate gold -any jewelry for that matter. I like to wear my tennis shoes, jeans, and a shirt; or a buttons up shirt with my khakis and dress shoes. But only because I think I look good, not because of any other reason you come up with.
And lastly, I cannot deny who I am and where I come from. My accent gives me away. Yes, I do wish I didn't have an accent because it'd be helpful when it comes to be understood right off the bat, but there's not much I can do about that. One time, I was told by my counselor to read a lot, to learn new words, and to ALWAYS be practicing to improve and get their pronunciation correctly. And that's all I'm doing. Can you give me credit for trying to improve myself in this country where it seems to be a dog eats dog world? Isn't that what your parents want for you, and what you'd want for your kids, to be the best that we can be?
Think about it.
In the meantime, I'm going back to my life to continue being at peace. Read a book, work, and go home to my family; and call me if you want to hang out every now and then.