Recently I have lost
a friend --more of an acquaintance, but same difference nowadays.
No, she didn't die;
she's okay, but the situation killed what could have been a good friendship.
And this made me wonder if I really am an asshole of a friend as she stated I am, what do you all
think? I admit my faults, and I know that I bail on dates and hang-outs and
chilling, whatever word we used for our encounters, but 99% of the time, I am
working. You can swing by my jobs and you will find me there, no doubt.
Last year I treated
myself to floor tickets to several concerts, so I had to come up with the money
to pay off the credit cards; I also traveled to Chicago for the first time
without family, and I also had to cover such expenses. This year has started badly
with Mitchell getting into a car wreck, and the consequences are pricey, plus
medicine that I have been put on and the usual bills that we cannot escape
from. We all have our issues going on, and if I ever miss out on a very
important event in your life that you wanted me to join, I really am sorry. I'm
sure I tried to make it work, but sometimes we must go with the daily
responsibilities.
I know that I make
rude comments here and there; I know I risk getting my teeth knocked out, but
if I talk shit, I am ready to face the repercussions. Call me out if I ever say
something that you find offensive or simply wrong, more likely I will apologize,
take my words back, and make it right; I tend to make jokes that do not tickle
everyone's funny bone, and that's okay, but let me know at that instant! Don’t
let it build up, and one day out of the blue you explode in my face; I'd
probably argue and we won't get anywhere. It'd suck to lose our friendship over
something that can be fixed in a matter of seconds. You might think that I
probably should watch my mouth if I want to keep my friends, but the problem is
that I blurt out whatever is in my mind before I can bite my tongue; also, I
believe that if we're friends, you should feel free to tell me to shut the fuck
up. And most importantly, our friendship shouldn't be over because of a petty
argument. Maybe we weren't as friends as I thought we were; maybe we only had
good times together, but nothing further than that. Things happen for a reason,
they say, and I am a firm believer.
Whatever happened
between this person and I is irrelevant now. I surely knew that I didn't do
anything wrong this time, but I still was left wondering if I really am shitty
to you guys. I certainly don’t want to lose the ones that I really care about.