My name is Adrian. I
am laying in that coffin right over there; I've asked a friend to read this for
me since I can't do it for obvious reasons. Nobody knows me better than myself,
so why bother anyone else to write an eulogy on me? I'm sure I'd love it, but I
bet that whatever it'll be said, it would only describe what the eye meets and
what I wanted others to know. See, I've always hated how people become this
saint-like once they pass away; they're immediately everyone's best friend,
everyone will miss them, they are family oriented, high school graduate, a
leader in the community, a loss indeed. But they leave out the bad stuff they
did --…Why?
Not me, though. This
is why I wanted to write this myself so you remember me exactly how I was, and
you can nod in agreement. No shame. If you really know me, you will nod in
agreement.
Family: I always
bragged how much my Mother, brothers and I overcame in life, but behind the
curtains I was also stressed out and I made mistakes. I argued with Mother
several times over the years; more than often, I shut the door on my brothers
so they'd leave me alone; a couple of times I blamed my situation on my family;
I said and did things that I regret even now that I am dead. Thank God that I
rectified my actions in time! And hopefully, my family and I left in good
terms. As I always said, no matter the situation, we always stayed together;
and this is how I learned that they are the most valuable treasure in my life. I appreciate my Mother
more than anything, with her flaws and all, she did what she could in a place
where opportunities were limited. I love my siblings - from the ones that made
it on their own, to the ones that I saw grow up into the strong hardworking men
they are now. Fate took us in different paths, but God has been with us all
along; I may not be very religious, or go to church every Sunday, but I prayed
to thank the goods that I've gotten, and also for the bad moments that helped
me get stronger. I guess you can say that Faith works miracles.
Mitchell: For years
you put up with my shit. My controlling and jealous rants. My lazy and Ugly
days. My sickness and my down times. My skinny and my fat phases. My moodiness
and my unexpected rage. I love you like I've never loved anyone else. You took me
in when you didn't have to, and you dealt with what others didn't get to see,
and I hope I wasn’t as bad as I think I was. Sure I had my good moments, but I
admit that I am a very hard person to live with, and I cannot express enough
how grateful I am to God that I found you and that you loved me to the extent
to stick around for this long. Please take care of our babies, as you know very
well, I love them so much that my heart ached as I took my last breath. They
will watch after you as I watch over you from above in heaven or below in hell,
wherever they send me; I'm sure that I'll be having fun with homies James Dean
and Amy Winehouse. I'll say hi for you.
Friends: Most than
likely, I made fun of you at some point and I told you it was just a joke, and
it was; but if you still resent me for such act, I understand. I hurt your
feelings, and I feel bad about it, but it probably needed to be said, and you
know it so get over it. I still love you, eternally. Also, I'm sorry I bailed
in our promised dates that we were supposed to hang out but I canceled because
I was having an Ugly Day, or simply because I was lazy and I wanted to bum
around the house. I apologize if I ever disappointed you which I'm sure I did.
I'm sorry when I called you a bitch, when I lied to you and I didn't give you a
ride. I'm sorry for not filling in when your date bailed, and for not making it
to your wedding and children's birthdays. I'm sorry I didn't get your Christmas
presents. I'm sorry if I ever talked shit about a friend of yours just because
I didn't stand them; or if I hated on your favorite singer which I did all the
time -but admit that I had better taste in music! I'm sorry if I missed a
important event in your life and that our friendship strained by distance in
between; I should have been more annoying and stayed in touch. I promise to
come visit you often now that I will have the chance to just chill. Evil laugh.
Other people: I
fucking hated you. There was a reason why I was rude and mean to you. Don't cut
me off or flip me off when I'm driving, bitch I followed your ass home. Don't
try to act superior than me or anyone else, I will bring you back down to Earth
spelling each word so you understand how much of an idiot you are. Don't act
tough in front of me, I will laugh, sneak a picture and post it all over the
internet to expose your trashy ass; if there's anything I was good at, it was
probably my avid talent to destroy names. I was probably a scumbag, coward,
afraid of confrontation and a punk ass bitch. And that's okay with me. You can
say it, if you think it as well. I matured in the past decade, and you probably
met the improved Adrian, but don't forget the mean things I did and said,
please, because I meant every single one. I faced the consequences of each act
on its time, and I will be the one in God's presence to explain myself; so
don't worry, speak up and say it how it is. God knows I wasn't an angel, and
the devil knows what I still keep to myself.